Selling Slippers

After almost a year of absence, I am blogging again and this time, I'd like to share my new job- I am now selling slippers, Havaianas to be exact. I'm in-charge of Retail Operations so every day, the concerns are very dynamic. You always have to think ahead and anticipate what the stores will need.

Here's a picture of me with the colorful flip-floats.

I love the job because first and foremost, I love the Brand. I love Havaianas. I already have 6 pairs of them (and counting). Loving what you are doing really makes a big difference and impact into making your days at work interesting. Here's to wishing me well and looking forward to more fun and productive days with my office mates and store staff!

I miss you

I can’t sleep. A lot of things are still running in my head and most of these thoughts concern you. I am not a stranger to this kind of night. I lay in bed, constantly shifting on my pillow, my eyes may be closed, but my mind is fully awake, drifting to where you are, trying to picture out the day I’ll see you next. On that day, I’ll be wearing my sweetest smile, I’ll be running to you and hugging you until I am sure that you are here with me, and that you are near, and that you are real. I just miss you very much.

Lately, I have been feeling so out of place. I feel like I’m not where I’m supposed to be. For so long, I have been so restless. And I wonder why. It may be because I am far from you. And home is wherever you are. And wherever I am, as long as you are not with me, is a foreign place.

Missing you is a cycle, and like all cycles, it just goes on and on and on. It never gets tired. I will never get tired of missing you.

Feet on the Ground - The simple joys of field work

With me are the Grade 5 Students and teachers of Alabel Central Elementary School, Sarangani Province.

One thing I love about my job is field work. Once in a quarter (or as need arises), I am tasked to visit a region in Mindanao and meet with the students/beneficiaries of the programs of a certain charitable organization. These students have disabilities (mostly visual impairment).

Always, I am awed and silenced at the perseverance and determination these students show in finishing their studies. I interview them and from these interviews, I write their life stories which are soon published and distributed to individuals who might be interested in extending their assistance. These interviews are also aired in a radio program which I host alongside my lovely office mate, Ate Faith.

This is what I love about my job. Part of the reason is quite selfish- it's because it strokes up my ego in a way that I feel needed. But more importantly so, I love my job because it gives me a concrete opportunity to help. This is where I can use what skill I have in order to make small, but significant changes in the lives of our country's marginalized population. This is my way of giving back love... my way of saying 'thank you' to my country and to the world.

Draft #7: Head in the clouds

billions within billions

When life on earth gets boring, I just either look up and stare at the blue/star-filled sky or close my eyes and drift into outer space where wonders are boundless and too spellbinding for my restless mind to contain! Yes, I admit, I am also the kind of person whose head is in the clouds!

I always have this longstanding fascination about the universe and I'm looking for the right timing to open up to people about this, thinking that they might not be able to relate or find this interesting.

I'll make this first attempt to share to you how highly I think about our universe and how in love I've been to its very essence. I will try to explain what it means to me. In my own words, I'd like to bring to mind the possibility of having other civilizations existing in its expanse- in simpler terms, extraterrestrial life- which circles around the unending question- Are we alone?

But, before using my own words, let me borrow wiki's just so I can set our perspective- "The universe is commonly defined as the totality of everything that exists, including all physical matter and energy, the planets, stars, galaxies, and the contents of intergalactic space."

Just imagine how big a space we are talking about here. Big is not even a big enough word to justify universe's size. They say, to better understand the whole, it is necessary to consider its parts. Let us now take a look at the universe's contents then one by one.

1. Star - there are billions of stars in a galaxy

2. Galaxy - a galaxy is composed of billions of stars; our planet belongs in Milky Way Galaxy and it revolves around its mother star, the Sun

3. Planet - there are billions of planets within galaxies; planets are attracted by their mother star's gravity; so for our Sun, her gravity was able to attract 9 planets (if we include Pluto)

In a nutshell, Earth then, is just among billions of planets and it revolves around the Sun. The Sun, which is essentially a star, is just among billions of stars in a galaxy. And just how many galaxies are there in the universe? They're as numerous as the sand on the seashore! If, for you, that's not amazing enough, then I don't know what is!

Taking this number into consideration, the probability then, of having other earth-like planets is limitless! This has been a subject of my daydreams- thinking that there is a possibility that there are other creatures like us out there and we are just not aware of their existence and location. To what extent our likeness is, that we can't possibly tell. One dear friend, Kit Loma, in one of our YM conversations said that maybe, if these creatures live in a planet that is nearer to its mother star than we are, then probably, these creatures have thicker skin. (very observant of you Kittie!)

According to scientists, the following are the considerations in determining whether a planet is habitable:

1. size - it must be as big as our Earth (it would be hard to support life in Jupiter because huge planets like Jupiter mostly have mountains and rocks)

2. distance from its mother star - it must not be too far (because it will be too cold) and too near (because it will be too hot)

3. it must have water, air, and light

NASA's explorations, using hi-tech gadgets such as the Hubble telescope, have recently found 5 candidates for earth-like planets which can be found in our neighbor galaxy (Andromeda or Vega, if I'm not mistaken). The stage of advancement of our technology today limits our capacity to search for extraterrestrial life. We still don't have what it takes to build telescopes so powerful that will allow us to see even the slightest glint of the light emitted by planets from other galaxies.

Distance is also a factor. Since these galaxies, stars, and planets are millions of lightyears away from us, it means that sadly, we won't be able to have a glimpse of these planets. Not in this lifetime.

So, just how far is one lightyear (ly) anyway? Here is a vivid description, adapted from an article I read in NASA's website:

LY measures the speed that light travels and the distance it covers. Imagine that you are in a dark room. Once you turn the light on, the room is suddenly illuminated in just a second! No corner is spared by its light! Light was then able to travel that great a distance in a second. Now, imagine how far would light go in a year.... that's how far one light year is.

Granting that other planets are millions of lightyears away from us, their light then, is still traveling in outer space and will take millions of earth years before we can see them. Another obstacle that stops us from intensively observing the universe is our inability to travel in outer space, as fast as the speed of light, for a long time. No space vehicle is able to do this. No kind of fuel has been invented to last the vehicle this long.

If we think of it even more, Lightyear and traveling in the speed of light actually make the sci-fi notion of time travel remotely possible! If we can be onboard a spacecraft that can travel in outer space in the speed of light, then we can continue living for a really long time! We can spend thousands of years traveling in outer space and go back to earth still young while our planet and everything in it have grown old. hmmm... this is overly amazing, yes... but is also a bit sad.

Hahahay.... so there- these are the things that fill my head when I'm not busy thinking of my everyday cares and worries about my career, financial freedom, my love life... And it has always been a beautiful recluse, a sweet escape to also think of things and concerns other than myself and the people close to me. I think it will work for you too!

This piece of information may just be a tiny speck in the ever indescribable circle we call life but we can never deny that the things below, around, and above us will affect the way we live in one way or the other.

It also gives us a humbling experience. No one and nothing is larger than life. No one and nothing ever will be. In the midst of our universe, we are all one and the same- creatures who, regardless of our status and riches, are but dusts and at some point, it will do us good to admit that we can't have it all!

Also, this comforts us. Whenever we feel down and feel like we bear the weight of the world because of our problems, let us just look up and reflect. I hope that you will realize how insignificant your concerns are amidst the vastness of our world.

...with this in mind, I end my ramblings and go back to earth... but first I would like to thank the websites of Discovery Channel, NASA, and National Geographic for providing wonderful company and useful entertainment during boring work hours... now really, back to earth!

Draft #6: Calculable Wisdom

I bought this book last February 9 and I was able to finish reading it yesterday. All in all, it took me almost 3 weeks to finish a 500/600-paged paperback novel. Do you think it's a reasonable length of time? hmm... Anyway, here's what I think about the book...

If you've read Dan Brown's other books featuring the funny and intelligent (which, for me, is a rare and sexy combination) symbologist from Harvard, you can practically plot the twists of 'The Lost Symbol' before even finishing Chapter 1.

I don't like to say it, because I've been fond of Dan Brown's (DB) knack of coming up with clever plots and his ingenious way of weaving intrigue through a string of facts and making it sound so exciting you'd wish it's all true, but DB was kind of predictable in 'The Lost Symbol'.

I can almost hear myself blurting out what Langdon will do next. Also, the way characters think and act in the book does not quite match their impressive profiles. I would expect a Noetic Scientist not to immediately trust someone whom she just talked to in an anonymous phone call. You're not supposed to follow what that someone tells you to do. And Langdon, of all people, should not be surprised every time he realizes that there are codes hidden within codes which turn out to be more complex than the first set. After what he went through in Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, he should already be in a state of mind where he sees things not as they seem. He should know better. Langdon failed to evolve in this book.

For the first time, I skipped through chapters. There was a part where I wasn't so much enjoying the word-play anymore. I eagerly wanted to see what the lost symbol is that the novel's chapters have so draggingly tried to conceal from me.

But then of course, I still like DB and (I think) I understand him and what he's probably going through (even if I haven't been there). I remember Man-Man and I discussing about Lost Symbol's predictability. And we concluded that maybe DB felt pressured that his next Robert Langdon novel would be as big a hit as the other two.

Elizabeth Gilbert had the same problem when, after the epic success of 'Eat Pray Love', she felt dizzy of what the book has become to the point that she decided to stop writing for a while and spend her time tending the tomatoes in her backyard garden. This, she did, to try to separate herself from the enormity of it all and re-focus her perspective.

Maybe DB didn't do the same. Maybe he doesn't have a garden :-) To not sound too all-knowing about this writer's dilemma because I am, after all, not a certified writer least of all, novelist, I will consider DB. We can never feel for ourselves the pressure he must have felt.

All the same, aside from the predictability factor, nothing's irritating about 'The Lost Symbol'. It featured DB's worst villain yet - a crazy, frightening fellow covered with tattoos! I also wished Robert Langdon exists in real life!

And comes that familiar feeling in the end - the novel's desire to open our minds and keep it open for things- facts and scenarios that hold so much possibility in them! It also reveals a fascinating information about the Holy Bible. In a very good way, 'The Lost Symbol' encouraged me to read the bible and to desperately try to uncover the valuable wisdom that it reserves only for those who are worthy enough to receive it.

Draft #5: Alone in the Cinema

I watched 'Black Swan' yesterday after feeling really obliged. Natalie Portman won Best Actress in the Academy Awards for this movie and I thought this merits my attendance to the cinema. I went to SM Cinema 2 alone and literally, for some parts, I was the only one watching. When the movie ended, 7 were in attendance. Pirated DVD copies of the movie are scattered all around the city for sale at 35 pesos each. But, I did not succumb to this familiar temptation to buy cheap, even if I've watched academy award-nominated films in pirated DVD countless times during the past 2 years.

Listening to Natalie Portman's acceptance speech, I would say that it sounded almost too self-centered :-) even if yes, she did try to give credit where it is due - to the people who helped her act well, who taught her routines, who made her look beautiful. Still, a lot of times, she mentioned the word 'me'.... made Me act well, made Me look beautiful. Oh well, she did win Best Actress so she has all the right in the world to sound self-absorbed. To those who share the same observation that I have, let us all give her that privilege.

Anyway, back to my watching 'Black Swan' ... The experience of having to watch it alone was breathtaking! Oftentimes, I caught myself covering my face with my hands, and peeping through my fingers as scenes of Nina's hallucinations flashed in the wide screen in quick successions. Paired with music that rises and falls at the right time and emotion, I wiped tears from my eyes twice. I felt like watching a real Swan Lake Play. I felt the tension and the pressure Nina felt, and her relief when, after her performance, she achieved perfection- she was able to take control and let go at the same time. Hmmm.... I will only say this much though. You should really watch the movie and understand on your own how it affects you. For me, it affected me soooo much that I suddenly wanted to become a ballerina... hahaha!!!

All beautiful movies get stuck in my head for months and I'm sure I'll have Black Swan wallpaper on my desktop background for a long time.

Draft #4: Late

You can also find this article in PDI's Youngblood, September 25, 2009 issue.

IT WAS PAST 10 P.M. AND THE RAIN HAD JUST STOPPED. I was very thankful that it did.

Earlier that night, an office mate and I presided over the monthly meeting of one of our company’s divisions. We would have finished early, but the heavy rain made it impossible for us to go to the venue of the meeting dry and on time. We couldn’t use the company vehicle since the driver had gone home. But no matter how late it started, the meeting went smoothly. Finally, I thought, I can go home and start making the audio-visual presentation that I will showcase in a product exhibit at 2 p.m. the next day. My day was not yet over.

I stayed up until way past 2 a.m. to make half of the video. I decided to sleep even though the video was only half-finished since I still had to wake up at 6 so that I could be in the office by 8 o’clock.

It didn’t happen as I planned. I woke up at 7:15 and arrived at the office at a quarter past 8. I was 15 minutes late.

I proceeded to my table, greeted my office mates, sat, and sighed. It was the third time I came in late that month. I would be getting a memo from the HR department. This made me sigh deeper.

I did my best to put my predicament at the back of my mind if only for the rest of the day since I still had a video presentation to finish. Before that, I also had to conduct the weekly seminar for new sales representatives. There was no time to waste on worrying about my tardiness.

By 1 p.m., the video was done. To my disappointment, however, my presentation was moved to a later hour.

After three presenters, it was my turn to make my presentation and I thought it went well with my audience. I looked at my watch and saw it was already 7:05 p.m. Suddenly I felt tired.

It was a Saturday and I was supposed to work from 8 o’clock to 12 noon only. I didn’t request for overtime pay since I thought that an additional three hours didn’t really matter. But getting done at 7 p.m. was a different story. I sighed again.

By the time I arrived home, it was already 9 in the evening. And before I knew it, it was 12 midnight.

Before I could go to sleep, I recalled the things that happened in the last 24 hours. I sadly realized that regardless of how hard I had worked that day, everything would be overshadowed by the glaring reality of my being 15 minutes late.

I was right. When my boss arrived the following week after attending a conference in Hong Kong, I immediately briefed her on my situation and asked her if it would be possible to offset the 15 minutes I was late since I had worked late the night before and worked late again that Saturday. But apparently I was not convincing enough, judging from the way she replied. I had little hope that I would be given some consideration. I sighed, yet again—but not so much in despair as in indignation.

Some things stuck in my head like a disgusting bubble gum to a shoe: It wouldn’t be noted in my record that I stayed up late to finish a video. It wouldn’t be written that I was nervous while waiting for my turn to make a presentation. It wouldn’t be recorded that I had to work double-time and multi-task to accomplish my assignments that Saturday. And it wouldn’t be noted how I sweated and strained to be the best I could possibly be so that I could represent our company very well.

No, these won’t merit any mention at all. What will be recorded is this: Number of times tardy for the month—3; total number of minutes: 20. Just that. And these numbers will matter a lot when my performance is evaluated.

I have nothing against work schedules and the system set by people and organizations to make time work to their advantage; time is invaluable, I know. I do not wish to change the way things are in the corporate world because that would be way too ambitious. Neither do I question the way people in power apply the rules; I trust their better judgment. And most importantly, I do not wish to sound like a disgruntled employee who cannot accept that she was late (though I know I sound like one).

Call me bitter. Call me pathetic. Call me immature. I just cannot let it pass this time. Let me complain since I have every right to do so. And allow me to say this: Somehow, I feel cheated. I feel that I didn’t get a fair deal. I feel defenseless in the face of this system.

During the two years that I have been employed, I have learned one lesson I have come to appreciate a lot, and that is, never to allow mediocrity to creep into whatever I do. I can say with full conviction that I have always given everything to every task assigned to me. It may be as brainless as collecting flyers from competitors or as tricky as dealing with new people with different personalities. It may be as easy as encoding the names of new sales agents or as challenging as revising or making new flyer designs. And I have learned and mastered Photoshop on my own. How can mere numbers nullify all these? What rule does the company have to rectify my situation?

I remember a college professor saying that numbers do not dictate our worth as individuals since they are not enough to show how much we have learned from school, from work, from life. But in the industry where I work, numbers mark success and the worth of an employee is measured by his or her contribution to the company’s sales. Still I would like to believe what my professor said, even if my present predicament proves otherwise. In the eyes of the people who will rate me, nothing will change the fact that I was 15 minutes late.

Krizza Mae L. Balog, 23, is a project coordinator at a real estate marketing firm in Davao City.